Wacky News ↓

71-Yr-Old Avoids Jail Over Horse Sex

“David Chamberlin, 71, was spotted in a field with the horse’s head in his groin by the animal’s owner. ‘The witness was shaken and disgusted by what he saw,’ prosecutor Noelle Brockbank told Teesside Magistrates’ Court. ‘He picked up a stick and struck the defendant. That startled the horse, causing it to run off, dragging the defendant with it.’ Chamberlin’s solicitor, Alex Bousfield, said: ‘Mr Chamberlin cannot explain what happened. He didn’t know how to account for that behaviour.’ Chamberlin, from Middlesbrough, admitted outraging public decency by committing a lewd act and was handed a 24-month community order.” w/ photo

When Not To Call The Cops

“A Dutch man who spent two decades collecting Ecstasy pills of all colours and shapes as a hobby called the police for help after they were stolen – because he says some of them are poisonous. Police in the Netherlands say the 46-year-old man, who was not identified, decided to report the theft despite the illegal nature of the collection because he was worried about the possible consequences if anybody were to swallow one of the poisoned pills. It was not immediately clear why about 40 red-and-white pills out of the 2,400-pill-strong collection would be poisoned, but the police say they fear the drugs could be lethal if swallowed. ‘That’s really the main reason he came to the police,’ said police spokeswoman Esther Naber, adding the man ‘knows he’s not going to get his collection back.” w/ photos

Cardboard Windscreen FTW

“A trucker in China who drove 500 miles with a cardboard windscreen became so cold that one of his eyes froze shut. The trucker has now lost his licence, after he drove 800km (500 miles) down a motorway with a sheet of cardboard covering his shattered windscreen. Sing Li, 24, navigated by sticking his head out of the driver’s window. Unfortunately, this caused him to become rather cold – when he was arrested in Henan, eastern China, not only was one eye frozen shut, but his head was blue from the cold.” w/ photo

Detroit Kids Hate Math

“Fourth and eighth-graders in Detroit Public Schools scored the worst in the nation in math, according to national test scores released Tuesday, highlighting the expansive task administrators face in trying to right a district beset by multiple problems. The Detroit scores on the National Assessment of Education Progress test were the lowest in its 40-year history. Among fourth-graders, 69 percent scored below basic levels, as did 77 percent of eighth-graders. The sample of students included 900 of Detroit’s 6,000 fourth-graders and 1,000 of the district’s 6,000 eighth-graders. Those scores on the prestigious test are in the same range as would be expected from children who never attended school and simply guessed at the answers, said Robert Bobb, emergency financial manager of Detroit Public Schools, during a press conference Tuesday. “This is a complete indictment of the adult leadership in this district… It cannot be attributed to parental shortcomings, real or imagined. It is directly the result of the failure to lead, the failure to manage, failure to establish rigorous academic and strong professional standards.” w/ photo

Student Killed By Exploding Chewing Gum

“The 25-year-old chemistry student, who has not been named by police, was working at his parents’ home in Konotop when relatives heard a “loud pop”. They rushed to his room and discovered his body. The lower half of his face had been seriously disfigured by the blast. The Russian news agency Ria Novosti said forensic tests found the chewing gum was covered with an unidentified chemical substance, thought to be some type of explosive. It was reported that the student used to dip chewing gum into citric acid. Police also found another substance near the body.” w/ photo

Lil’ Panda Croc

“For aquarium worker Kamla Maneegan, painting baby crocodiles to look like crowd-pleasing giant pandas is more than just a job — it’s a point of national pride. Ever since a pair of pandas on loan from China gave birth to a cub in May, Thailand has gone ga-ga for the black-and-white bears. One television network broadcasts 24-hour coverage of the cub, Lin Ping, on its “Panda Channel” as she chows down on bamboo shoots, plays with tires and nuzzles her mother. Street vendors and fashion designers have incorporated panda motifs into their work, and the country’s top zoologist has taken to wearing a panda costume for TV interviews. Panda fever appeared to reach a fresh peak in October, when two armed men held up a gas station in Bangkok and made off with two stuffed pandas — leaving the cash register untouched. The pandas are part of China’s efforts to step up trade and political ties in Southeast Asia.” w/ photos

Stagecoach Made From 1.5m Toothpicks

“A real-life stagecoach built in Warsaw could soon be seen on display in a museum, not because of its historic nature, but because of what it’s made with. It may look like a typical stagecoach just waiting for a horse to come pull it along, but that’s far from the case. The stagecoach is made exclusively out of toothpicks — and an awful lot of glue! Terry Woodling, 72, has been making things from toothpicks since 1981 and got his latest idea after seeing a miniature replica for sale. “I started with the wheels first,” Woodling said. That, he says, was the easy part. “It’s a little more than a toothpick in length,” he said when describing the width of part of the wheel. It’s taken a lot of those little guys: 1.5 million toothpicks to be exact. It hasn’t been cheap, either. That’s because Woodling estimates he’s spent more than $1,200 in toothpicks alone.” w/ photos + video

The City’s Tiniest Studio

“If they can make it there, they can make it anywhere. Zaarath and Christopher Prokop — and their two cats — live in the smallest apartment in the city, a 175-square-foot “microstudio” in Morningside Heights the couple bought three months ago for $150,000. At 14.9 feet long and 10 feet wide, it’s about as narrow as a subway car and as claustrophobic as a jail cell. But to the Prokops, it’s a castle. “When you first see it, the first thing you say is, ‘Holy crap, this place is small,” said Zaarath, 37, an accountant for liquor company Remy Martin. “But when I saw it, all I could think of is, I can do something with this. This is perfect for us. We love it.” w/ photos

The Wooden Nessie Has Been Sighted

“Nessie, the ArtPrize Top 10 finalist that spent time in the Grand River downtown, is looking for a new home and is letting it be known on Ebay… 24 Hour News 8 spoke with artist Richard App who said that without winterizing Nessie, the sculpture would be heavily damaged by the cold weather. Nessie was designed to be in the water for 4-5 weeks and wasn’t built to withstand ice.” w/ photos

Sits On Dead Whale, Pats Feeding Tiger Sharks

“It’s not exactly something many would attempt to do – reach out and pat a deadly tiger shark in the middle of a feeding frenzy. However, conservationist Leon Deschamps couldn’t resist the temptation. Photos show him stroking the heads of tiger sharks feeding on the carcass of a dead whale in Western Australia. Amazingly, he was sitting on the whale while patting the sharks. Mr Deschamps hopes the images will dispel “myths” that tiger sharks are blood-thirsty, man-eating monsters. Scientists discovered the group of sharks feasting on the carcass of a dead whale during a field trip to collect genetic samples as part of the Shark Bay Ecosystem Research Project, 853km north of Perth, in August. The sharks appear nonchalant despite the close attention from Mr Deschamps and other conservationists perched on their feast.” w/ photo