Attacks Feared At Al-Qaeda Convention

11/14/09 - Hilarious

“”More than 3,000 people are slated to slip across the border to attend,” al-Hamada said. “While delegates were selected from within the ranks of known violent extremists, there is no such thing as 100 percent security, unfortunately. In this day and age, organizers of any high-profile event cannot be too careful.” The party plans to move weapons stockpiles to undisclosed locations, and to post armed security guards at known tunnel entrances. Only those carts operated by officials with permits will be admitted below ground, and the cavities of any animals brought to the convention will be searched. Additionally, attendees will be required to provide papers confirming their identities, and their names will be checked against a list of known al-Qaeda operatives. “We will do everything we can to cut down on the amount of time spent in lines, but some waiting is to be expected,” al-Hamada said. “I urge all attendees to be patient with the delays. Please, I beg you, control your rage. Please.” w/ photos






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