$40 Billion Spent To Create 1 Amazing New Job
“In an effort to stimulate economic growth and boost the confidence of the American workforce, the federal government has allocated $40 billion to create one unbelievably mind-blowing new job, Labor Secretary Hilda Solis announced Monday. The position, which will require the selected applicant to relocate to a sprawling, white-sand-beach facility on St. John in the U.S. Virgin Islands, will begin immediately after the employee is hired. In addition to a $500,000 annual salary, Solis said that the job also includes 12 weeks of paid vacation, a generous pension, bimonthly bonuses for adequate attendance totaling more than $2 million a year, a company rocket pack, and full health benefits. “After carefully surveying the current employment landscape, it has become evident that generating a single, incredible new job is the most effective course of action,” Solis said. “Rather than place 2 million Americans in unfulfilling, dead-end careers, we feel that giving one citizen the opportunity to contribute to the study of multiple orgasms in a controlled hot-tub environment will ultimately yield the most lasting change.” w/ photos
