June 2009 ↓

Don’t Mess With Lil’ Chicken Little

“Welcome to your new daymare!”

Lil’ Chicken Little

“Here’s how a real gangsta looks like and sounds like… TsimFuckis out!”

Giant Jellyfish Crop Circle

“No one ever seen a jellyfish like this before — particularly not in the middle of a farmer’s field. The 600ft monster, similar to a giant Portuguese man-of-war, has delighted crop circle watchers by turning up near Kingstone Coombes, Oxfordshire. Crop circle-expert Karen Alexander said: ‘We have seen butterfly and bird patterns in the past, but this is the first jellyfish crop circle in the world. It is absolutely huge, three times the size of most patterns. ‘It is absolutely huge – roughly three times the size of most crop patterns and extremely interesting. People have been aghast at the size of it. It is a complete monster. ‘We are looking into the meaning of it, but at present it just seems to have appeared out of nowhere.” w/ photos

Dumb Woman’s Lane

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The Most Light Skinned Black Dude In The World

“I have an idea why your daughter is black…” — Szeptun

E.T. & Me

“What happens when a boy and his little Extra-Terrestrial buddy grow up? Plan C answers that question.”

No Name Street

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Beer Scented Candle

“Candles aren’t just for gals you know! Guys will love the fresh brewery fragrance that smells just like a cold one! Full scent concentration used throughout, so the candle smells just as good each time you burn it.” w/ photo

How To Order A Phonebook Hooker

“It’s important to use caution when proceeding with a phonebook hooker, to avoid getting ripped off, robbed, beaten, or even killed in your own home with your pants around your ankles. However, by following these simple steps, you to can safely and easily access the calloused touch of a lady of the night.” w/ photo

Top 10 Practical Uses For Your Credit Cards

“Stop using your credit cards. They’ll just get you into debt. But wait: Don’t throw them away. Just stop using them as they were designed to be used — that is, to pay for stuff. Save the actual cards. Because they’re useful in all sorts of ways you might never have considered. Here are ten ways we’ve repurposed our unwanted credit cards.” w/ photos